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Not a good day

Posted on 2011.05.12 at 12:33

As I am two days from receiving my bachelors degree, the words etched in fading lines across my skin seem more real and poignant today than they have in almost four years. The temptation to renew the pact with myself lingers in my fingertips. These words that are not true but have become part of who I am gnaw at my soul and send me spiraling back in time to days past. Days when I was these words. I still hear the voices in my head screaming from time to time. Screaming at me when I thought I had finally escaped them. I hear you. I know what. You are saying and as hard as I try I can't
help believing it today.
Worthless. Fucking. Nothing.

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Music and flaming

Posted on 2010.02.25 at 10:25

Music: something loved by many people. I've been reading comments on YouTube again and I am astounded and horrified by the idiocy of the flame wars and typical insults being thrown aroud. I went to leave a comment but it was way over the character limit so I figured I would vent my frustration here.
It is so funny how people who don't like the same type of music as you are imediatly labelled as less than. There are so many different types of music and everyone has their own tastes. Just because someone likes a showtunes cover of something and you don't doesn't mean it is a horrible song. I will be the first to admit there are covers and even original pieces that I can not stand but I don't take away from the piece by flaming on those who do like it. It takes talent to make music and we should respect that talent.
Also: just because someone likes a piece that you think sucks, that has no effect on their sexual orientation. If you like the gLee cover of Journey's Don't Stop Believing you are apparently a faggot and horrible person for hating the worst cover ever that absolutely ruined the song and should be banned (as an aside, check YouTube, I'm possitive there are worse covers out there.)
But seriously... To each their own man.
That being said, I want to start a blog and get a decent amount of readership, I would love concrit and even the occasional flamer. As is four or five people tops read this... And I appreciate each and every one of them. Even the one(s) I have never met in person.

Posted on 2010.02.20 at 11:11
Where am I?: Kicking puppies
What is going through my head?: Duck, Duck, Grey Goose

So I realize now that I am more likely to update from my phone! Not a lot of note going on, my aunt from Seattle is in town for her birthday and I have to get to see her today... Had a counselling appointment yesterday, wasn't bad for the first appointment in seven years. I have another tha third. Oh well, much love to you guys and I am still working on that fic!
<3 Shades

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So yeah, been writing a lot of fic lately, working on a multiple chapter glee!fic right now, looking for a beta. I might make a separate journal for my fic if my collection warrants it. I wonder if I can find my old Logan/Bobby and Bobby/John Bobby/poitr fics.
I will post more when I am not posting from my phone...

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Hello LJ!

Posted on 2010.01.28 at 18:35
So hi!
Not much going on of note, hence the lack of postings... School is school, relatively easy thusfar... had my first exam today (intro to life science aka science for stupid people) Probably got an A, possibly a high B depending on how tough Kaelin is on the grading (I can't imagine he would be incredibly hard)

But yeah, other than that, nothing really going on... Oh, did you guys hear about Haiti?

My Thoughts on HaitiCollapse )

Posted on 2009.12.09 at 09:01
Stupid. Fucking. Canada.
(no offense Michael)
I did something I told myself I would never do again which is join a forum... now all my spare time is spent on IRC talking to people I have never met. And there is this boy, whom I have never met... from Ontario, who is adorable, too young, and egging me on to start something (we are facebook friends, he is only 18 and still in high school)
My Issues:
1. I am developing feelings for a boy who I have never met and odds are will never meet.
2. I don't have the guts to tell him that I want whatever is going on to stop. I even tried warning him that I don't do casual things, especially not long distance.
*smashes head against the wall*
Oh well

Posted on 2009.12.01 at 22:45
For the first time in years I have absolutely no clue how i am going to make this work.

Posted on 2009.11.16 at 10:01
I'm 21! wooo! Woo!... Wo?

Saturday night was fun... went to The Connection, the local gay "entertainment complex" yes it is that big, several bars and dance floor and theatre... and the #1 Drag show in the nation! Big thanks to Brian Mcgill, for showing up and hanging out, even tho it musta been uncomfortable... especially the shower bar( a bar with men dancing scantily in showers).

Also thx to Brent and Ashley who took me out and such.

class is starting, I will post more later


Maybe I can't do it...

Posted on 2009.11.11 at 11:15
So, I got my midterm back from my U.S. History class. And now I know what has been lurking at the back of my mind for so long. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this. I got a fucking 41%... how the hell. I studied my ass off for this exam. I mean really though.

Maybe I can't be a manager, go to school full time and do two small outside activites. Maybe I need to just quit.

Posted on 2009.11.08 at 21:12
Ok, first things first:

Jay Brannan is epic awesome... I found my copy of "Unmastered EP" and purchased a copy of "Goddamned" from iTunes! He is so freaking adorable too! I reccomend this song, "26 Hour Day", "Death Waltz" and "Housewife" which pretty much explains where I am at right now in my life.

Second act of bussiness... I have started studying for a class I am not even in yet already... to make a long story short, because of some of my goals (Grad School goals) my advisor thought it best if I took more language classes, I haven't taken German in a year, and I am being thrown into German 212(Junior level German, haven't completed 211 yet) next semester, but I have to interview with the Dept. Chair and professor first, in German... yuch...But if all goes well I will be in Austria for 6 Weeks this summer!

I registered for my other five classes on Wednesday. Taking Modern Political Theory, U.S. History 1877 to the Present, History of Rome, Experiencing Theatre, and Intro to Life Science... interesting mix of classes... only two should be difficult enough to be stressful, but I have to get through this semester first...and then throw in Intermediate German Conversation and Composition and wheee!

Oh well... bed time (yes it is only 9 pm, no I don't care.)
<3 Shades

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